staceyyyx3:

Okay, so one of the first things that I’ve done with my summer thus far, is finish Looking for Alaska. I know what you’re thinking, whatthefuckthefirstthingyoudidwasread?!?!? but it was an amazing book. I decided to read it because of that one quote that I saw floating around Tumblr a while back. This one:

Just like that. From a hundred miles an hour to asleep in a nanosecond. I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane.

Not only because it was pretty very cute, but also because any character that thinks as different and complex as that, is interesting in my book (ha ha). Now, I’ve read a lot of books, and I think that John Green did an excellent job with this novel. Miles/Pudge is an interesting character and I’d honestly love to have a friend like him because there aren’t a great deal of people that are fascinated by last words and the crooked heart of a crazy but broken girl. 

It was also written in a before and after type of way, which is how most of us think. There was some big event, like graduating or someone important leaving, and all the small things that happened in your life are now just before graduating/so-and-so leaving or after graduating/so-and-so leaving. Green writing it this way makes it seem like it could be all the more real. 

I think out of everything, from the little romance that Pudge had for Alaska or all the first experiences that he has when he attends Culver Creek, I like the last words and the events in the book that made them important. “How will I ever get out of this labyrinth!” and “I go to seek a Great Perhaps.” We all are thrown into the labyrinth at birth, and we take wrong turns and get lost in the maze, but we must believe in the Great Perhaps to continue on. 

Those awful things are survivable, because we are as indestructible as we believe ourselves to be. When adults say, “Teenagers think they are invincible” with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don’t know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us great than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.

I’m afraid that my pen has run dry. I just may have lost my skill to instill thoughts and images in your head via descriptive scripts. Quite honestly, I’m not sure what happened. Before, I could type hastily for a short time resulting in an easily written piece that somewhat satisfied me. These days, I sit, staring at a blank document with various ideas bouncing around in my noggin but I can’t seem to develop any one of them. Then, in my frustration, I click the red “x” and banish the evidence of my lack of creativity. These tactics surely don’t solve my problem, but my lack of motivation tells me that I’m not so eager to fix that dilemma just yet. I’m sure a wave of creativity will crash down and swallow me whole (sometime in the near future, I hope). Until then, my apologies. (:

I flipped on the light switch and the lamp a little further ahead of us flicked on, illuminating the once dark, empty hallway. Our voices quietly echoed throughout the house, making the vast empty space known. It was beautiful, even now in its unfurnished state. My eyes glazed over as I looked around, leading him through the rooms filled with my memories. Here was a chair where my cousin and I once slept in after a night full of karaoke. Over there was the rocking chair he loved so much. I told him of my childhood in this house, it turned into a sacred space now that my uncle was gone. Finally I shared with him my favorite view in the whole world. The cityscape from the backyard is beautiful; the outline of Diamond Head is visible even over the dark night sky, and the lights from Honolulu to Ewa shine brighter than Tantalus. Inevitably, the tears began to trickle down my face. He tilted my chin up, wiped away the fallen tears, and kissed my cheek. The look in his eyes told me he was sorry. Sorry that I was in pain, and that he understood. He held me tight, took my hand, and never let go. It was the greatest unspoken support I’ve ever felt in my life, and I’m glad it was him. I looked down at my hand in his, up at his caring eyes, and back at the city in front of us feeling that this moment was just as beautiful as that view. And in that moment, I knew we were infinite.

I’m sitting and thinking. It’s funny how alone you are but how extremely content you can be just sitting there by yourself. Darkness surrounds me, but instead of being afriad, it acts like a blanket. Yeah, a blanket that is comfortably cold and it swallows me like a cocoon. In my sitting and thinking, I had another thought. Just how many people feel this way, encompassed in this coldness and in this darkness, thinking this thought in this very moment? Maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t the only one. In this odd time of being content, maybe we feel this way because we’re not the only one. Although it feels very alone, somewhere inside of us we’re attached being alone together, we just don’t know it but we’re content.

We smiled at the soft tapping the rain made on the roof of the truck, for we thought of the same, sweet plan. Quickly, I pushed the door open and closed it behind me as I rant ot the sidewalk just in time to find myself being welcomed into warm arms. Two beautiful, brown  eyes looked down into mine, smiling. In that moment I couldn’t be happier with him, but then he tightened his hold around my waist and pulled me to him for one of the most memorable kisses of my life. I could feel myself smiling despite my desperate attempts at trying not to ruin the moment. Rain-soaked and shivering, we could’ve been the happiest people awake. We smiled at each other, ignoring the late-night wind and taking in kisses shared between rain drops. In this moment, everything in my arms was all that mattered; it was just him.

I’d just like to say thank you for the support (: I really appreciate you taking some time to read my writing. Feel free to leave something in my ask box! <3

The world was so unappetizing, in the sense that it was about as visually appealing as a sheet of paper. Although everything was in 3D, it lacked the vivid intonation of color and perhaps magic that I believed it should be laced with. Instead, I had come to the conclusion that an artist’s use of this sheet of paper would be far more plasing to my hungry eyes. So why shouldn’t I let the artist get to work? I was by no means against letting her out of her cage, in fact, I was giving her the key. I consumed her, and although she may taste bland, the aftermath is what drove my taste buds nearly insane. The world was no longer a boring wallflower sitting on the side of the most grand rave you’d ever imagine, a wonderland wasn’t even the correct word to describe it so. Instead the sky was about as orgasmic as the dirtiest drop in a dubstep song, blasted in closed, confined spaces, attached to a sub allowing you to not only feel the music inside, but letting it shake you with its vibrations. The stars would pulse as if shuffling to the song, intoxicating my perception of the world, each step moving the floor to match the rhythm and low bass. Streetlights gleamed a hundred different shades of yellow and tints of white, each of them almost blowing my mind out of proportion from its powerful illumination in this profound new frame of the same picture I was once scowling at. The picture may be the same but the eyes that view it are new, its essence now alluring.

This was inspired by a quote I came across by John Green from the book Looking for Alaska.

Just like that. From a hundred miles an hour to asleep in a nanosecond. I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane.

Here’s my rendition:

There he is. I could be anywhere and if I caught a glimpse of him I would be stopped in my tracks like a bus hit me at a million miles an hour. I want so badly for him to be the one to wrap his arms around me, but here I am almost nonexistent in his world. We walk the same familiar places, see the same visage of people we run into daily, and breath the same air. Yet, here I am a stranger to this boy in a world we share so intimately. There are times that I come so close to him, brushing in passing, and I tell myself that one day I will take that leap. I will somehow end up with my lips meeting his and we will fall so hopelessly and irrevocably in some mystical and magical love. But he already possessed the most beautiful girl and I lacked the courage, he was perfect and I was normal for the lack of a better word, he was exciting and I was entirely and irreversibly predictable, he was interesting and I would forever be bland. So here I am, dwindling in what is left of his scent after he’s passed, thinking that if we were all an ocean, I would be a minuscule ripple and he was a tidal wave.